Sad

This is my journal, a way to document our journey. That means even the sad times.
This isn't a magazine it is ME....US.
I've attempted to write this post many times,
not for you but for me.
I'm hoping that it could help with the healing process.
Right now my heart is hurting, my eyes are filled with tears, my mind is filled with thoughts of what ifs, if only, I should have done this, or said this....Oh how I wish I can turn back time.

You see my grandma is very ill and she soon will be with the Lord.
I know that when she is with Him she will feel no pain and be happy in the presence
of our Lord and Savior.
She has been sick for a several months and I have got to tell you it has been a roller coaster of emotions. Not just for me but for the whole family!
The grieving/healing process is a long one and everyone handles it differently.
Some feel mad, sad, depressed, confused and angry.
At different times or all at once.
Asking why? Why did this happen? Playing back the situation in our minds to see if we could of changed the situation at hand. If we only did this? Or perhaps caught it earlier. Just maybe.
I have.
I wish I would've visited her more often.
Honestly I have seen her more now that she is sick than I did when she was well. This truth I write has been eating at me.
It hurts!
I feel like I failed!
Every year I told myself that I would visit more but life always got busy and I never made a big effort.
Sure I saw them on holidays, their birthdays and some special occasions.
But I should have seen them more.
So while I was crying I started to think of how I wished I did this or that.
My husband grabbed my hand and said you are here for her now, go visit her.
He is right, she is still with us.
So that is what I've been doing.
I go see her and sometimes she's asleep but I sit and hold her hand.
I tell her I love her and sometimes we chat a little about what the kids are doing.
And other times I am just there to listen to her.
I will cherish these moments I have with her and keep them in my heart forever.

Life Lately {April}

 Life is always moving, and I'm just trying to keep up, or at least survive. Things are busy around here but aren't they always? Being a mom, a wife and trying to keep up with my jewelry business, is definitely a challenge at times. Mother's Day orders and Teacher Appreciation week, which kept me busy in April. So it's busy here but a good busyness.

Here is a peek at April.

April was filled with birthday celebrations, skee ball fun, Disneyland adventures, Preschool at home for Gabriel,

Open house at the school, Boys brought me roses from their walk,  Dad got a new hat, Daniel's Speech Therapy, Kids State testings, trying to eat healthy, Dad had Jury duty, worked on new designs for the shop, a red rose from my hubby.

That's about it, a quick peek at our April. 

Wordless Wednesday: Grandpa's Birthday!!

Last weekend we celebrated my Grandpa's birthday! He turned 94!! Can you believe it? I think he looks pretty good. He is always moving around and trying to stay busy. I think he is pretty hip he even wears converse shoes! I told him I liked his shoes and he said "thank you, they were only $4.00 from my favorite store" (the Goodwill). He's a great bargain shopper :)

Check out the converse shoes ^^

I love this photo of him and I.

Here are some pictures of him and Daniel. I couldn't believe Daniel went and hopped on his lap.  So I quickly grabbed my camera to take these shots. Melt my heart!!

Daniel soon spotted me and gave me a little smile.

                                 I love you Grandpa and hope you had a Happy Birthday!!

I know that these moments we have with him I will keep in my heart forever.